Great piece. And perfect use of dashes and commas. I've been told that I suffer from long sentence syndrome, and that readers aren't sure what they're reading till they get to the end. Then they have to start again. Something I've been thinking about a lot lately, actually. Thanks for the post.
Hello Scribbler! Thanks. I'm the opposite (I think because I worked for a local newspaper for a while where Brevity is King) and really struggled with this. It's back to short, fat hairy sentences for me now - I'll be blogging about 6-word stories sometime soon!
Great sentence, Clare! I might have a go, tho not much time now...
Really enjoyed that! Brilliant twist. I hope that gets into the anthology.
Thanks for the comments... I must have wandered off. And hey - it was so good that Dave 'like'd it twice. Hi Dave! *waves*