I call it 'research'

Fran has been writing in Being Me about looking up how to pick a lock (for plotting purposes!).

For the book I've just written I had to research how to vandalise a building site (scary but interesting), spells for bringing back the dead (and one for making them be dead again - which fyi are much harder to find) and the de-composure rate of corpses.  I have been building myself up to approaching a local undertaker and planning officer - and I don't know which one is the scarier prospect!

And this doesn't include all the stuff that you click on by accident ("...officer"). A friend of mine was looking doing some research about land contaminated with heavy metals. She was quite surprised to be faced with Slipknot and Black Sabbath.

I suppose we must all be keeping 'the authorities' busy - they must have us under surveillance by now. *whistles innocently*.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever found yourself Googling?

More Ups and Downs

I've been busy with many things so, here's a whistle-stop catch-up of the peaks and troughs, the ups and downs, the rounds and abouts, the pluses and minuses, checks and balances, swings and sparrows... etc

Poetry 24 is now in the hands of 3... possibly 4, who can tell?... new editors. This will free up some time in the new year. If you've a poetic bone in your body, support this unique eZine by sending your news-related poems.

Conversely, I've taken on the running of the Festival of Firsts International Poetry Competition next year, and will be doing publicity for the festival, which will take up a fair bit of time between now and July.

Shrewsbury's high tech flood defences

I went to Shrewsbury, getting into the Christmas spirit (gin mostly) but worried that it might be a bit flooded, walked around Stiperstones and had a 13 course Roman banquet.

Conversely, I have lost a stone in weight - largely thanks to the MyFitnessPal which is online too, but I use the app on the iPad.

I have had another 30 or so rejections.

Conversely, hot on the heals of winning Sefton (what a raffle, that was!) I came second in the Voices Israel competition (scroll down  to the second poem... just after the one about having sex with the washing machine repair man*).

Click text (left) not image!

I STILL haven't quite finished my novel The Undead Residents Association...

Conversely part of it is already out in hard back and on Kindle as part of Pulp Idol - Firsts 2012 where the top ten finalists of the novel-writing competition have their first chapter published as a promotional tool.

Oh, and I've been on a week-long training course, of which more  anon.  Conversely that 'at risk' letter and budget talks put a question  mark over the whole library service.

I must apologise for not visiting other blogs recently - as you see,  there's been an overlap between  finishing and starting (see above) plus work on the house involving moving and sorting a LOT of stuff. Hope to be back in circulation soon.


Didn't do one this year, but here's last year's: 10 Great Gifts for Writers 

* Note to self: my washing machine needs some attention too

Should chapters have titles?

Work in progress... titles and all!

Here's an interesting question:- should a novel's chapters have titles or numbers? Do you notice chapter titles? Does it make a difference to the book?

The comic novel I'm writing - The UnDead Residents Association - does have chapter titles at the moment. I always liked the idea and it has helped me navigate around the story as I have written it (I think a lot of writers do this - see the NANOWRIMO forum on this) Does it help the reader too?

My titles are relevant to the story: Grave Undertakings, A Spell in the Library, The Stakeout and I even thought I might use bits of relevant local authority jargon as subtitles to the chapter titles ( 'post-preventative measures' 'co-terminus stakeholder agreement' etc)... or maybe just use a bit of that sort of thing as subtitles to the (un-named) three parts the book is also divided into.

There's an interesting view on the subject in the Gotham Writers Workshop which says chapter titles can add layers of meaning, like Quoyle's knots in The Shipping Forecast... kind of what I was going for with the jargon subtitles. And Nathan Blansford's many followers gave titles a general thumbs up too - though it might be different for kids' books.

But I already have 40 chapters, but because I use various points of view, they don't all have a new chapter, just extra spaces with a *** between. Maybe they should all have new chapters? But then there might be too many too reasonably have titles for.


Help!!  What do YOU think?

Flash, bang, wallop!

It's all go here at Broken Biro Towers!

After a dry spell in terms of acceptances while I hunkered down to finish the novel and play (I mean I was writing a play, not playing!) I suddenly have developments to support on several fronts:-

FLASH!

I've been short-listed for a Flash Fiction Competition run by Liverpool's Writing on the Wall literary festival and the final's tonight!

BANG!

I'm in the final of the Chorlton Art Festival Flash Fiction Competition next Wednesday!

WALLOP!

Last night I won a place in the final of Pulp Idol - a competition for unpublished novels, also run by Writing on the Wall. Just getting to the final means my first chapter will be published alongside other finalists and sent to agents and publishers! PLUS I got to chat with experienced published writers like the host Cath Bore, and judges novelist Caroline Smailes and crime-writer Dave Jackson. It was especially nice that the other finalist from my heat is none other than Dave Hartley from Manchester's Flashtag collective - who are doing all sorts of whacky things in Manchester today for National Flash Fiction Day!

If you head over to that last website you can find out if there's anything going on in your area and perhaps read some super short stories!

p.s. ... and I haven't even mentioned what's happening with my play, and that 80's band thing... but BBC breakfast TV this morning might give you a clue...

How NOT to write a novel

(one of the) broken biro 'techniques'

There's plenty of useful advice about writing a novel 'out there'. I have at least half a dozen books telling me the BEST way to construct a plot and write a best-seller - all of which are wildly different from each other. I'll do a separate post on them.

But meanwhile, here are my Top Ten ways NOT to write a novel. I think most of the books I've got will probably agree on much of this:

1. Make your opening the least interesting part of the book
2. Fiddle about editing what you’ve already done instead of finishing it – at which point you realize whole beautifully-edited chunks are no longer required
3. Stop working on it for a couple of weeks so you can’t remember where you’re up to

4. Change genres half way through like Tarantino did it in Dusk til Dawn, leaving you sitting there with your mouth open
5. Do a wholesale ‘find and replace’ for a name change when a name could be part of a ordinary word. e.g. change the name Wish to Noon and end up with ‘Noonful thinking’ and ‘a yellowNoon hue’
6. Write sections so dull you fall asleep over them and end up with a keyboard pattern on your head and 25 pages full of the letter ‘Y’
7. Stressed about the parts that aren’t working, put it all away in a box for 9months to see if it sorts itself out
8. Wait until you’ve written 50k words before deciding it would work better in third person.
9. Send the first three chapters out to readers – or even better, agents – when you haven’t finished the rest of the book
10. Write a blog post that implies you’re disorganized and the novel isn’t any good, when actually you’re pretty pleased with it.

Related posts:
On writing - what started me back into my novel
A novel request - appeal for volunteers to read by first three chapters
Bringing back the dead - changing genres mid-novel

A novel request

Help! I'm in need of some assistance and advice again! The novel's up to 76k words and I'm hoping to have a full draft ready within the week (eek!). So now I'm looking for anyone willing to:

(a) read first 3 chapters quite quickly - which will be sent to the first of a long list of agents imminently

(b) read a first draft of the whole thing, offer general constructive comments and answer some questions afterwards about specific aspects

(c) join in a less time-consuming way by offering suggestions for the following:

• Examples of low-level bullying by girls ... nothing too nasty, preferably something quirky/ embarrassing circa 1980 (I was lucky enough to not have been subjected to or witnessed any bullying at school)
• Examples of saints with silly names
• Examples of bureaucratic jargon or local authority political correctness 

If you'd like to do the actual reading (a) and (b), please send me your email address to clare at clarekirwan dot co dot uk. It's expensive and laborious to send hard copies out, so please only say yes if you're happy to just get a Word file to read on screen.

The Blurb

As promised yesterday when I was bigging up new books by Maria Zanini and Inky Fool,  here's the blurb I'll be shortly sending to potential agents about my novel. I welcome comments.

It's the first in a series planned in the same general location with the same main characters:



The (Un)Dead Residents Association

A rom-com with added zom!

Conscientious but accident-prone, Laura Moon* – the council’s new community engagement officer - has discovered shifty goings-on at the Town Hall, but where’s the proof? The planning officer and his files have vanished, one of the Councillors is a little tied up just now – literally – and Laura's efforts at damage limitation have started an escalating cycle of disasters: leaks to the press, community unrest and some residents not being quite as deceased as they used to be.

It's going to take all her witand tenacity to sort out friend from foe and find out what’s really goingon.  Who is the mysterious figure lurkingin the cemetery? What ingredients didthe library users put in their ‘special’ recipe? Why do all those builders look so hungry? And how do you get a dead person to hold apress conference?

* I'm still struggling with name for main character - she's about thirty, British lower middle class, bright, quirky, not too 'girlie'. Do we like Laura Moon? What about Julie Moon? Noon? I know I went into all this with you in Naming the fish but I got some very silly answers then... Cressida Trout, Anna NotherMess, Donna Hatt... although The Invisible Woman's suggestion is still in the offing - Liz Pelling (Miss Spelling to you!)

p.s. Although this isn't a horror book - it's more a comic satire - yes there are zombies in it - it was sort of an accident but took the book in a really interesting direction. However it raises the thorny issue of genre. Am I digging a hole for myself here?

On Writing

Four things that happened last week have got me back into finishing my novel.

1.
Having been accepted for Flashmob - one of Lancaster Litfest's publications I was invited to a professional development workshop for writers, which reminded me what my own priorities are, helped me set goals and reinvigorated me.

2.
Before going there, I re-read the 60,000 words I've written so far of my novel (untouched for months) to see if it was worth pursuing. It was funny (it's ok, it's supposed to be) and readable and I got excited about it again.

3.
Then, on the train to Lancaster I finished Stephen King's 'On Writing' - a book that is often highly recommended to writers by other writers.

It's a curiosity - part interesting autobiography, part no frills 'how to write' guide from someone who's work I find very readable. Like many writing manuals, the author has strong ideas on the best way to produce a novel, things you must or mustn't do. Fine if it works for him, but it's best to take from writing guides the advice you recognise as appropriate for your own way of working. Some great common sense hints and tips.

Key tips:

1. Write
   
2. Read
3. Assiduously avoid adverbs.
   

These first two are pretty obvious but plenty of 'writers' don't do that much of either - I've been guilty myself.

4.
And fourthly, I've been reading Elmore Leonard's 'When The Women Come Out To Dance' - an inpsiring masterclass in short fiction packed with sparely-written mini dramas, fascinating characters, evocative locations. (Elmore Leonard's top tips - which also have it in for adverbs - are at the top of this excellent Guardian list of Top Tips from Authors)

So that's what I'm doing when I'm not doing this.

First lines

I'm supposed to be starting my new novel.

OK, so I haven't finished the current work in progress. What are you, my mother?

So this new one has a plot, characters, location, framework... and what it needs now is a first line.

It just so happens that the deadline is this week for the annual Little Lytton contest - which looks for 'hilariously bad' first lines of imaginary novels.

Here's a fine example from the instigator:

Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating. Adam Cadre

Here's what he says about it: 'The non-action of "stood," the vagueness of "there," the involuntary process of ovulation treated as an activity, the inappropriateness of mentioning the volume of that non-activity, the uncomfortably gynecological detail of mentioning it at all — all combine to make a cringeworthy sentence.'

Here are some of last year's winning entries:

This is a story about a racist hero who dies at the end, probably painfully since he’ll get shot in the face.

This is a mystery about a murder I committed.

Zandor stood in the doorway, raking the onlooking crowd with the hot coals of his eyes.

Reading these has inspired me to look up the first lines of some of my own work. So here are some dodgy openings from some of my (unpublished works):

When you’re a down-at-heal astronaut, you’re about as low as you can get.

Even through the bandages, the cold must have been biting.

It was as good as being dead. No, not that good

I wonder why they're unpublished? The last two were alternate first lines for my only completed novel - a tale of trauma, changed identity, tortured relationships and redemption that I first started when I was 13, completed in 2003 and is currently 'under the bed'.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, the first lines of my nearly complete work in progress - a tale of local authority planning officers, root vegetables and the undead are:

Always wear your best pants. Your mother was right. You may have an accident.

So, I'd better get on with it... but do share your favourite first lines in the comments... or share the most toe-curling one you have come up with yourself.

To help: American Book review came up with this list of Top 100 First Lines of Novels

Bringing Back the Dead

I've a terrible confession: I've started working on my novel again.

I'd always intended to be a best-selling novelist. That was always the plan. But life got in the way. You - of all people - understand that. 

I have several books on novel-writing. It's nice to have books about writing to browse through. It makes you feel like you're writing, when really you aren't. No, really - you aren't. 

The beauty of having several books on novel-writing is that you will generally find someone who agrees with the particular way you choose to plan, plot and manipulate (it all sounds so very scheming doesn't it?) the Best-seller. I have books (Novel Writing: 16 Steps to Success)that recommend planning everything in minute detail before even thinking of writing a word - hello spreadsheets! - and others (Creative Novel Writing)that recommend starting at page one with a vague feeling of what you want to write about and ploughing on to the end.

The one aspect they all agree on is one that does worry me. You have to know your genre. 

My First Novel (current location - under the bed, current status - dusty) would have been a redemptive tale in the saga/mystery/romance mold.

But this new beastie isn't so easy to categorise. It was planned out (on the spreadsheet) and begun as a public sector satire with an engaging thirty-something heroine bumbling her way through local skulduggery in a Beiderbecke Affair sort of way. File under: contemporary fiction, comedy. 

I can't put my finger on the precise moment I decided to bring back the dead.

It was going according to plan and I was about halfway through a first draft, but I was a bit bored to be honest. One (maybe all) of the books suggested that if you find yourself flagging you should introduce a new character or twist. When you're writing comedy the trick is to exaggerate the normal until it becomes funny, so maybe it was just a logical extreme I went to and never came back. I didn't intend to jump on a zombie bandwagon (and this was last year - it's all vampires now anyway) and they aren't really the point of the story.

The trouble is - publishers like genre (see a sensible answer to a similar question here) because genres have ready-made audience. But mine isn't a horror novel. It's a satirical comedy... with just a tiny few gruesome (yet amusing) scenes and undead characters. I think it's funny: How would local authorities react? There'd have to be a strategy, inclusion issues.

I like the idea of messing with genre, subverting the cliches. Tarantino did it to brilliant effect in From Dusk Til Dawn: I had seen no publicity about it and was gob-smacked when, half-way through the movie it changed genre (crime thriller to horror).

Is it OK to mess with genre? Do you think it might work?