I don't have a book (yet!) but I made some pamphlets of my poetry to flog at gigs, back in the days before I had any real blurbs to put on it, so I had to make do with this one from my mum:
"I think these poems are great - but I know nothing about poetry and I am her mother."
Since then I have twisted a few arms, nicked the odd sound bite from publicity for things I've been at.
But I was very chuffed to be described - by a follower of this blog if I recall correctly- as "Roger McGough in bra"
Other comments from here I could use if necessary:
"I don't care how many other zombie Santa poems might be out there, this has got to be the best."
"She has better legs than John Noakes" (I have no recollection of how the comparison came about)
Which somehow sounds better than a gig organiser who said: "Clare's massive body of work is funny, profound, thought provoking and moving." I think it's the fact that it starts with my 'massive body' that put me off that one.
Sometimes, I confess, I have touted for blurbs to help promote myself to potential gig organisers. My old mate David Bateman, who's well thought of on 'the circuit' came up with the completely unhelpful: "Strangely good." I suppose it could have been worse: "Good, strangely."
What's the best line you've had to describe YOU? Don't be shy now!