How to win Poetry Competitions - top 10 tips

As a regular entrant to (and occasional winner of) writing competitions it was eye-opening to be administrator of a poetry competition recently and see the process from 'the other side' with 356 entries, both online and by post.

First, what doesn't work: an A4 'do not bend' envelope, first class post, two months prior to deadline and posh paper make no difference at all if the poem's poor. A better poem triple folded, second class, last minute is still far more likely to win. (Someone even attached a full CV - entirely superfluous as decent competitions are judged anonymously based solely on the poem.)

Taking entry fees off some poets felt like taking sweets from babies and I worry about unscrupulous competitions whose aim is solely to make money - especially beware of ones where the entry fee is big and the prizes small. (Winning Writers lists contests to avoid).

I was only the admin, but I looked at the entries with interest and, as I've been placed a few times in competitions myself, began to get an idea of what judges are looking for. So here are my top ten tips on getting placed in competitions:

1. Read the instructions!  I received entries with no cheque, no contact details, in file formats I couldn't open etc. Many poets put their names on the poem itself - despite instructions not to! - or double spaced their poems so they spread onto two sheets when the rules clearly said one sheet only!

2. Don't write everything in capital letters. The rules may not state this, but just don't. See Capital Idea

3. Check for mistakes in spelling and puncutation 

4. Pay attention to detail - edit carefully, make sure every word is the right word and has earned its place in the poem. Get someone to look it over for you if you can.

5. A strong opening grabs the attention - pay special attention to the first few lines... and the last few.

6. A strong voice or character engages the reader more than abstract content

7. It has to stand out from the competition - so send poems with surprising and interesting subject matter

8. The same is true of titles. Spend time thinking of a title that adds to the poem

9. Read it aloud - judges will often do this and there may be the odd awkward rhythm, or phrase that jars

10. I'm a chronic deadline-hugger. I've still been placed in competitions despite only entering a day or two before the deadline. However half the entries I received were in the last week, and I couldn't help thinking it might be better to arrive before the rush - if only to ensure the postal service and computer systems don't thwart you at the last minute! Just a thought.

Ready to win? these are my favourite sites with up to date details of poetry competitions in the UK and beyond:

• The Poetry Library - lists reputable competitions
• Prize Magic - the name sounds dodgy but the guy who runs it is keen and thorough
• Morgen Bailey's Writing Blog very detailed competitions calendar... and there's so much more on the site, it's well worth a visit

Good luck!  And remember - it's all subjective. What one judge puts aside another may love.

p.s. If you're new to the blog and wondering what my credentials are, check out this list on my (rather out of date) website. 

Top 10 tips for performing poetry

I began performing in 2003 and will have totted up 200 appearances before this year is out. 

I've spouted in slams and jams, open floors and secret gardens, Palm House and Slaughterhouse, The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (Las Vegas) and Bolton Socialist Club. I've been translated into sign-language, broadcast on a Big Screen and banned from a Cathedral (not my fault).

None of this makes me an expert, but I've picked up a few DOs and DON'Ts along the way - which I am happy to share - hope it helps or inspires (especially a reader of this blog who is about to perform for the first time!) Even if you're not about to launch onto the poetry / spoken word scene, these tips may also help with other public speaking.

The Tips

1. Don't worry! No-one is going to 'boo' you - I've never seen it happen unless someone was being really offensive. Ask yourself: What's the worst thing that will happen? And then don't answer! At the Dead Good Poets Society in Liverpool we often have newbies 'losing their performance cherries' and while they might not give a flawless performance (everyone gets nervous), they are always welcomed and applauded - it takes guts and we all remember our first time!

2. Case the joint. You'll feel more comfortable if you've been to the venue before and know the layout and clientèle. If you can't do that, arrive early and chat to a few people so you're not performing to a room full of strangers. And watch how other performers use the mic - how close do they stand to it?  

3. Be prepared. Know what you're going to read and practice beforehand so you're comfortable with the poems - you don't have to memorise them, even for a slam, but if you haven't read them aloud before, you won't do as well as you could. Have a drink to hand in case of 'dry mouth' and, if your hands tremble, try sticking your poems in a book or folder and reading from that - it reduces page-shake.  

4. Time yourself - practice at home so you're used to reading your poetry out loud, make a note of how long each piece takes (allow time for intros and applause) and keep to time - it really helps organisers, and they are your friends.

5. Choose material that suits the audience and venue. Try to suss out the audience and the vibe before you make your final choice what to perform. Some poems are better read and some better heard - a good rule of thumb is not to read anything too heavy to inexperienced audiences - instead, delight them with something accessible, funny or quirky and not too long. Save more 'poetic' material for serious poetry lovers.
   

6. Breathe. It really, really helps. Even if you don't think it's helping, it is. Take really slow, deep breaths for a few minutes before you get up to read and it WILL calm you down. 

7. Slow down. Most people start out reading their poems too quickly... okay you want to impress with your fluid tongue, and get away again quickly, but speak too fast and people can't take in what you're saying. You really can get away with reading a lot slower than you think. 

8. Mix it up a bit. Start strong with something that will grab attention -  launching with a lively poem can release tension (theirs and yours!).  A 5-minute open floor slot will allow two longish or three short poems (see 4 above) so you can vary the tone. For longer sets, it's even more important to vary the pace - a funny poem after a downbeat one, a fast one after a couple of slow ones. Exaggerate changes in pace within poems too.

9. Make eye contact with your audience as much as you can - it helps them connect with you, and if you're looking up, your voice will project  better. 

10. Enjoy yourself - smile! It's actually fun and empowering to stand up there, speak your own words and get an instant reaction. Nothing beats the feeling of an immediate response to your work... the relief when you've done it afterwards!

P.S. Maybe I ought to add:  
11. 'Don't forget to take your poems to your gig' - like I did last night!

Pictured above: Me, Alabaster de Plume, Colin, Abi & Me

Pictured right: The lovely people at Write Out Loud - check their site for an open floor near YOU!

8 Tips for Getting Published

OK, so you write and you write but how do you get your writing published?

Last week I went to an excellent 'Meet the Authors' afternoon - my favourite event of Wirral Bookfest (amidst stiff competition - I also saw Carol Ann Duffy!).

The authors were: Caroline Smailes* whose first novel was snapped up after she posted part of it online and has had a steady presence in Kindle's Top 100. Her beautiful Like Bees to Honey is out now and third novel is in the pipeline; Jon Mayhew author of gothic teen fantasy Mortlock, part of a three-book deal with Bloomsbury; and the late Nik Perring (he's not dead - he was just late) whose neat collection of short stories Not So Perfect is out now. They are all local (i.e. Wirral) authors whose first books have come out in the last few years and who are active on the net.

So I thought I'd share some of their top tips to wannabe best-selling novelists:

1. Write. Obvious as it sounds, it's were some of us fall to the ground straight away. Learn this equation: No words = no best-selling novel. You need lots of words - preferably ones that carry on from one another. 300 first pages do not a best-selling novel make either. Write and keep writing - you can mess around with it later, just get a first draft written

2. Hone your craft. Attend courses, read up, use online resources and communities for writers. Learn all you can about writing. But don't do this instead of writing (see above) - it's an easy mistake to make.

3. Blocked? Don't panic! All the authors agreed that there will be days you don't want to write. Nik mentioned 'Writer's Constipation' but the others managed to steer us away from the truly scattalogical! Don't punish yourself staring at a blank page/screen. Do something else - go for a walk or something. Just make sure you write when you can.

4. Read your own work aloud. Nik (I think it was Nik) said he records himself reading his work then plays it back. You'll be surprised what you'll pick up if you do this - odd phrasing, over-used words, clumsy sentence structure, unbelievable dialogue. As nik said - especially with the short story it has to be as perfect as you can make it before you send it off.

5. Log-on. Work to develop an online following before you approach an agent or publisher. If you want to stand out from the 'slush pile' it really helps to show your understanding of the importance of promoting your work generally. A good blog also demonstrates your writing style and discipline.

6. Engage with new technology. Many authors are more tech-savvy than traditional publishers. Caroline Smailes has generated new excitement around her 3-year old book by getting it published on Kindle - and although it is sold at a low price, 12,000 of people have brought it and authors get a better cut from electronic publishing. eBooks are especially useful to authors of specialist non-fiction as they are low-cost and can be targetted to niche audiences internationally via the net.

7. Ask the experts. Jon Mayhew's turning point was a Literary Consultancy weekend - it was pricey and, at time, brutal, but it polished his novel and gained him introductions to the literary agent that found him his future publisher.

8. Break a leg! Or an ankle. No, really. Jon Mayhew attributes part of his success to having broken his ankle and using the ensuing enforced idleness to knuckle down and finish his book. It was such a successful technique that he broke it a second time for the edits! He wasn't recommending this, just saying that you need to grab your opportunities to write when you get the chance to.

Write! I'm off to do some now... after I've just checked my emails, updated my anti-virus software, fed the cat (and I don't even have a cat!)...

What are the best tips for getting published that YOU have used, or have been given?

* I have already corresponded with Caroline via Twitter and her blog - proving that social media enables you to go up to someone and say: 'But we're already friends! You have to talk to me!'  Caroline is even nicer in person than online.

Austerity Measures

Times of austerity are here, they tell us – a reigning in (of wild horses?), the tightening of belts, the empty larder, the gathering clouds, the doom, the gloom.

But which of us can say, hand on heart, that we don't have too much stuff, that we could get by without the lava lamp, the novelty egg timer or the impulse-bought 'must-have' espadrilles crafted by the tiny grubby fingers of child labourers? (insert your own foibles here)

The aesthete would say that a life of simplicity is the ideal - just enough to eat, no worldly distractions, self-sufficiency. A loaf of bread, a cup of wine, and thou...sands of books at your local library - for now (though they wouldn't dare trying to close Wirral Libraries after what happened last time.)

If Osbourne wants a list of which services to cut back on, here are 10 suggestions of what should be first up against the wall:

• Public sector award dinners
• 50% of all meetings
• Bankers' bonuses
• 'Think-tanks'
• Tank tanks
• 75% of public sector PR and marketing
• Local authorities sponsoring football teams
• Subsidies to farmers not to grow stuff
• The space programme
• ...oh, and the war, the weapons, the bombs, the missiles

But don't panic! There are plenty of things we can all do to 'pull in our horns' (that's one for the Inky Fool), save money and make our own lives more sustainable: 

• Re-use and repair old jokes
• Shop around for cut-price air – it's just as good as full-fat
• Only eat second hand food
• Get rid of the dog and buy a bargain-basement budgie... some of them really go cheap!
• Sell your soul on eBay - top prices paid
• Use your library - spend your days sitting near the thrillers smelling of wee
• Save water costs! Share a bath with a neighbour
• Turn off your brain at the mains when you're not using it
• Repair any broken promises or hearts (you might need a 'handy man' to do this)
• Become a 'friend of the preserving pan' (pictured)

Next week:  How to grow your own gazebo from seed  

Related post: Time of the Signs - more amusing political posters

Twitter - 7 Steps to Getting Started

And now, in a change to our normal blog, this is a How to Get Started in Twitter post inspired by Maria Zanini - read her post about it here. Normal service will be resumed after this messages.

I'm going to run through some basics to help other people get to grips with Twitter - if they choose to do so. 

Be aware: it can be addictive and It's Not My Fault*

Step one: Open an account.

• Sign up at www.twitter.com. Your username will be @yourchoice (mine's @ClareKirwan) so when you see an @ symbol it's another person.
• Only use your real name if you are saying mostly nice things, in your own time and don't mind who knows it.
• You can have more than one identity so if you're not sure about all this Twitter nonsense, you could try a made-up name first until you're comfortable launching your real self. 

Step two: Have a look around

• Like Facebook you have a 'profile' page where people can see anything you've 'tweeted' publicly, and a 'home' page where you can see what the people you follow have been saying.
• From the home page you can also access your Direct Messages (private messages which can be sent between two people who follow each other) and see it you've been retweeted or mentioned. This is all in the future for now.
• It's not cool to send plaintive messages into the ether like: 'So here I am on Twitter then' and 'Is anybody there?' but we all do it. No-one will answer.

Step three: Following

• You can follow anyone unless they block you. They don't have to follow back.
• Follow celebs if you must (yawn), but don't expect replies. Everyone follows @stephenfry, but spoof @mrsstephenfry is funnier. You'll soon find the popular celebs - they just follow each other.
• Good ways to start: search for people you know, reply to people writing on trending topics, browse amongst  people your friends follow to see who you like the sound of
• Two people who follow each other are 'friends' and can send DM's (direct messages) which aren't visible to others.
• You can organise people you follow into lists like 'people-i-actually-know-in-real-life,' 'celebs' and 'wierdos' and select to just look at activity by people on a specific list at a time. 
• Here are someone else's 7 ways to gain followers on Twitter
  

Step four: Trending topics/ hashtags/ memes

• Bottom right on your home page are 'hot' trending topics or 'memes', but there are loads more. Click on one and you'll get a feed comprised of tweets on these topics.
• You'll see the hashtag (#) quite a bit in tweets. These are also memes. e.g. if I had wanted to comment on the general election, I'd have tweeted: 'One Green MP, no BNP ones. People voted for the lettuce, not the slug. #GE10'  ...and anyone following GE10 (the tag for the General Election 2010) would have seen it. 
• Hashtags can be for world events, favourite telly programmes (e.g. #cdwm when Come DIne With Me is on - i.e. all the time) or silly word games like #starwarssongs or #plantmusic 

(See an earlier post for a fine example of hashtag madness and some great people worth following imho (in my honest opinion... there's a whole language. You don't have to use it.) LOL.

Step five: But what do I tweet about?

• Don't be boring and don't over-do it.
• I follow people with witty, interesting, off-the-wall things to say and hope to be the same: something funny I heard, a quote I like, a response to something I'm watching or reading, banter with people I follow.
• I've had an occasionally whinge and been cheered with support and good advice from other tweeps. It's like a virtual office complete with silly jokes, interesting facts, gossip, news snippets, tea and sympathy. Without the tea.
• You can also tweet links to your blog, YouTube, webpages, pictures, news articles, etc. 
  

Step six: Manners please!

• It's good manners to follow people back if they follow you (unless they're obviously 'selling' something) but not compulsory.
• Other nice things you can do for your friends is to retweet them when you enjoy something they've tweeted, or 'mention' them (use their @name in a message). 
• There's also customs like 'Follow Friday' where you mention your favourite tweeps and the tag #FF to encourage your other followers to follow them too. (Also #WritersWednesday - same thing for writers. I tried a #WirralThursday but it didn't take off. *sigh*  
• It's also good manners to thank someone if they #FF you or retweet one of your tweets.

Step seven: Tweetdeck

• With Twitter it gets hard to keep track of your friends quite quickly. Free, downloadable programmes like Tweetdeck enable you to view several columns (your choice of  lists, hashtags, mentions, direct messages), update Facebook status and generally Do More Stuff. There are others but I've only used Tweetdeck and it works for me in ways Twitter on it's own just didn't.
  

Read more: Twitter's help pages should explain the terminology, or you could check out Blogging Bits' Twitter Glossary or, for the more advanced Seed the Web's Twittonary. I'll add one here eventually, but... did someone mention tea?

Image used is from this site about Libraries using Twitter

* If you've ever used an Apple Mac (and this might just have been the old ones) an American voice used to come out of it saying this when certain errors occurred. It never said anything else. Weird huh?