Friday, 15 April 2011

Awareness Awareness Month

I'm sorry to disappoint long-standing followers, but I forgot about National Double Entendre Week back in March.

This was a completely fictitious theme week that myself and Moptop invented last year and planned to bring into being merely by pretending it was real!

I was reminded of this by this tweet from comedian Jimmy Carr:

Stress? I know about stress. Hypertension is my middle name. (Actually it's Marion... I made that up too.) I packed in my lucrative PR job because of it, but not before sending my blood pressure to near-critical levels and irreparably messing up my kidneys.

But when I looked on the web I couldn't decide if it was National Stress Month here or in America - I mean I'm not going to get all 'aware of the issues' if it's some foreign thing. Then I found this list on Wikipedia.

So - in April, we should be especially aware of alcohol, the earth and sexual assault whilst appreciating jazz, pets and volunteers, and preventing cruelty to both animals and children. No wonder it's stressful!

... and if you can't be bothered to scroll down the whole hellish confection there, here's some examples:

  • National Be On Porpoise Month... sorry that should read Be On Purpose (I did that 'on purpose)
  • Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month
  • Creative Romance Month
  • Typewriter Appreciation Month
  • Black Hole Awareness Month (I dare you to click on that link - it will mess with your head!)
  • Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS) Awareness Month (and let's face it - they need the publicity because I've never even heard of that)
  • National Library Card Sign-up Month

October is National Dessert Month, National Pasta Month AND National Pasta Month (AND pork, pretzel, pickled peppers and popcorn months) - are they trying to kill us?.... And it's also, ironically Hunger Awareness Month: People will just keep saying: ''Yes, I'm aware that millions of people are starving to death, but pass me the Parmesan!' until the penne finally drops.

There's even a National Constipation Awareness Month - no shit! (And I'd made that up as a joke before I even found out it was real!)

I think National Double Entendre Month would fit right in, don't you. Although I am vaguely suspicious - it being Wikipedia and all - that some of them (Dirty Harry Month?) might be just as made up as mine... and actually don't they all exist only because somebody says they do?

What kind of awareness month would you champion?

p.s. I must STRESS that these are just the themed months... I haven't even started on the themed weeks or days - and nor shall I (probably) - not with my blood pressure!


  1. I'm going to look into Black Hole Awareness Month.

    Don't forget it's 'Be Kind to Dave Century'.

  2. Don't forget, in the US April is National Poetry Month, when everyone has to listen religiously to Billy Collins (not to be confused with Billy Connolly) and then get back to mocking poetry the other 11 months of the year.

  3. I would be very happy to celebrate National Chocolate Month with anyone.

  4. How about, Mottled Moth Mothers Month? Hey, that stuff the dentist gave me, takes longer to wear off than I thought!

  5. Dave - Is it really? In that case I've been very remiss -I must rectify that immediately

    sEAN - We have to squeeze all our shards and moons and Junes into one paltry day in October!

    Fran - But that's every month isn't it? ;-)

    Martin - You need a holiday! Tell you what - take this week off, I'll mind the shop!

  6. Loved your title, BB, and of course had to go to the Black Hole link, but after sentence #2 I shut down.

    Is there a National Procrastination Month, or has nobody gotten around to proclaiming it?

  7. I'm quite fond of National Continence Day. As if we're all incontinent the rest of the time!

  8. Deborah - Sorry about the delayed response... I just kept putting it off... erm...

    Laura - ...or maybe there's a National Incontinence Wee....k (geddit?)

  9. We need an eyelash awareness week. Why? because people don't remember how dangerous eyelashes are!