Thursday, 18 April 2013

Hungry Dogs

When I was a kid (and yes, I was weird then, too) I used to collect proverbs the way other kids collected... I don't know... what were they collecting?

I wrote my favourites down in an exercise book - and although I've only recently rediscovered the book, it turns out I've been using some of these lesser-known proverbs over the years even though no-one else has heard of them - just another reason why people look at me funny.

But it has always saddened me that people stick to the same old sayings when there are rich pickings:
  • He who has a head of wax should not walk in the sun 
  • Far fowls have fine feathers 
  • You a lady, I a lady, who will milk the cow?
  • Praise is not pudding
  • He who speaks the truth must have one foot in the stirrup
  • He that thatches his house with turds will have more teachers than reachers
  • A cat in gloves catches no mice
  • Random stomping seldom catches bugs
  • He that lives in hope, dances without music
  • Toasted cheese hath no master

I mention all this now because one of my favourites (because it is so very true and I really can't think of another that says the same thing so appositely) is:
  • Hungry dogs will eat dirty puddings. 
It's a proper proverb... it says so here.

I mention this, because my very short story - Hungry dogs, dirty puddings - was featured last week on 3:AM Magazine. (Rated 'R' for adult content and obscenity - mum will be so proud!)

Btw, looking for an illustration for this post, I found the one above that would have done nicely for my Mousetrap post. Really, I'd have liked to use this from the Saatchi Galleries but am probably not allowed to.


  1. Aaargh!! You've posted again before I could reply to your last one. This is going to look weird now, sitting here with no initiating question!

    So anyway.

    As the boldest commanding leviathan
    Must finally leave their corporeal vessel
    So must the lowliest scribbling shellfish
    Flex their muse's mussel.

    As Confucius may have said:

    You ask me a question.
    I give you an answer.
    But it may be the answer to a different question.
    One not even asked.


    1. Aha! Well you have answered two questions there. You are coming out of your shell aren't you? But are you going to give me a clue about the Q?

      And on an administrative point - you can still comment on all previous posts, and I will know when you have, so earlier conversations may continue.

  2. I'm sorry, I haven't a clue, but in the style of the eternal Humph, I can give you a tip, if you want something to get your teeth into; when you're out shopping and waiting in line, just remember, there's nothing nicer than being at the end of a long queue!


    1. Gosh, that reminds me - National Double Entendre Day must be 'coming up' soon.

  3. Oh, I love these, Clare! My (new and rather tasteless) favourite, courtesy of my daughter, is:

    You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.

    1. Yes, the head Press Officer had that one as her motto in the council press office when I worked there! (We even considered taking it more literally during an anti-poo campaign, but enough said)

  4. I can't think of any new ones, but growing up, my family used to love to mangle them. Such as:
    A stitch in time spoils the broth
    A rolling stone never boils
    He who laughs last gathers no moss
    Early to bed, early to rise is better than two in the bush

    1. Excellent! I LOVE these and am going to steal them... in fact they could spark up new stories... eg A stitch in time spoils the broth could be straight out of Doctor Who!... *sharpens pencil*