Sunday, 30 June 2013

McGough... and a cough

Me & McGough with matching poetry pants
You know that scene in 'Outbreak' when the carrier sneezes in the cinema? There was a moment on the stage on Friday night when I could have brought down the Great and the Good of Alsager with one unguarded 'Atchoo'.

Starting with the Mayor, the vicar and the manager of the Co-op, I could have spread contamination out across the poetry cartels of South Cheshire, the art-loving innocent of North Staffordshire and elderly fans of sixties bands just days before The Rolling Stones rolled on the Ralgex one more time.

Let me explain: I have a streaming cold at the moment. But that wasn't going to stop me meeting one of my poetry heroes: Roger McGough. I'd been invited as 'one of the top three prizewinners' to read my poem at his gig for the Alsager Summer Festival, and I'm delighted to report that I won! Hurrah! Huzzah! And I read my poem (in what I like to think of as a sexy, husky voice - dues to nasal congestion and a raw throat), and I managed not to have a coughing fit during any of the more poignant moments of Roger's performance  - although it was touch and go with the boy and the red ball on the beach.

But despite my mentioning I was full of cold, Roger, amused by my mentioning someone had once described me, rather disturbingly, as 'Roger McGough in a bra' had gone in for kissing in the French style... erm... I mean both cheeks, not tongues. I live in fear I may have done for him. The same thing probably happened to Nelson Mandela. Well, not exactly the same.

Who killed Roger McGough?
I said the poet, with my hacking cough.
I killed McGough

I could launch an attack on the poets of England this way:

Who killed Carol Anne Duffy?
I said the poet, with my nose so stuffy
I snuffed out Duffy

Who killed Ian Macmillan?
I said the poet, with a lack of penicillin
I killed Macmillan...

etc

12 comments:

  1. Don't fret, BB. I'm sure McGough is tough enough.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Who killed Andrew Motion?
    Me said the poet, with my herbal potion
    I killed A Motion

    Sounds like a permanent cure for diahorrea :)

    Many congratulations on both winning the prize and getting to meet Roger.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Sounds like something they do in Parliament too!

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  3. jason t richardson30 June 2013 at 15:43

    who killed clare kirwin
    with a gallon of bourbon
    i killed clare kirwin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who killed Jason T
      Me! Me! It was me!

      Delete
  4. Who killed Sylvia Plath?
    Er ...
    *awkward silence*

    Well done on your prize. £100, wasn't it? The drinks are on you ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You do the math
      I killed Sylvia Plath

      It was too! Cheers! Drinks are also in me! ('medicinal purposes')

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  5. Loving the fact that there was a very serious well-meaning advert about avoiding cough congestion at the bottom of your post when I read it.

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  6. Who killed Frank Bough
    oh no, he's not a poet ....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Congratulations on your epic performance at Wirral's Festival of Firsts. You were the best poet in the room and nearly the best part of the whole day - only beaten by the curry and chips! X-)

    (You'll note my emoticon is wearing a mask for anonymity!)

    QW

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    Replies
    1. Kind of you to say so, sir, though do I detect a slight bias?

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