Friday, 20 May 2011

Jam today!

The other day I left you with one of life's essential dilemmas (especially with the world ending on Saturday): Jam today or jam tomorrow?

Jam tomorrow - planting seeds and stocking up on jam jars (i.e developing skills, toiling and saving for a comfortable retirement)

Jam today - eating jam (enjoying the moment, not worrying about ending up with sticky fingers)

And I asked the question: would the possibility of the world ending this Saturday make you more of a 'jam today' sort of person?

I was frankly a bit disappointed with your answers, which varied from falling back on the old comforts of chocolate:

"I'd be stuffing myself brainless with chocolate, buns and custard" said Fran over at Being Me... and I'm not sure she can be trusted to read the packaging correctly - see her very funny latest post.

or just worrying about how it will all end:

"Will there be giant locusts, brimstone, cyborgs, earthquakes,etc?" asked MsCaroline at Asia Vu.

Clare (and Gary) claim they will be industrious: making jam or finishing home projects. My home projects leave things in much the same state as the apolcalypse!

Only Dave has the sense to go on a spree: "I'm busy spending my life savings now. I've just bought Wirral Library Service. I'm going to turn them into jam shops." I suspect that's his newly diagnosed diabetes kicking in.

So here's the Top 10 things I'm going to stop doing if the world is about to end:

  1. weeding
  2. worrying about unfinished projects
  3. going to the gym
  4. filing things into alphabetical order
  5. working at the library
  6. housework
  7. writing, also blogging
  8. spending time with people I don't like
  9. 'to do' lists
  10. Top 10 lists... doh!

And here's my Top 10 things I'd do if I knew the world was about to end:

  1. draw out my life savings and splash it around a bit
  2. eat 'tasting menus' at really fancy restaurants
  3. listen to my favourite music very loud
  4. tell people how I feel about them
  5. talking of splashing - go skinny dipping
  6. do a parachute jump or sky dive
  7. have a splendid party
  8. act upon impulses, without fear of repercussions, like...
  9. random hugging and snogging, or...
  10. ...put on a green hat and go on a bus ride!

In fact... I'm starting to notice my Top 10 list is rather hedonistic and self-indulgent - a sort of 'to do' list of some of my favourite deadly sins, so I'll probably be one of the first to be smited (smote? smitten?) down.

See you in Hell!


  1. Much enjoyed these two posts, Clare. I couldn't help thinking about the consequences of your Top 10 if you awoke, as normal, on the morning of the Fourth Day.

    1. You'd be broke.

    2. There'd be a hefty restaurant bill landing on your mat.

    3. ....along with a summons from the Noise Abatement Society.

    4. Friends, what friends?

    5. Another summons, this time you're up before the beak for public indecency. Oh, and there's a queue outside your door. All men apparently, and all wearing raincoats......

    6. Nope....assuming you land safely, can't think of any downside to this. And just think of the fun you'll have collecting sponsorship money, from all those people who signed up for ridiculous amounts 'cos they didn't think they'd have to pay....

    7. Hangover. Oh boy, the mother of all hangovers....

    8. Not sure where this is going....

    9. Thought so. See comments for 5. Especially the bit about dirty raincoats.

    10. If you forgot to buy a ticket, then boy, are you in trouble!

    Sorry to go on a bit, couldn't resist it. Do you think somebody knows something we don't? Otherwise, why would anybody want to cough up £50,000 for Bea's ridiculous hat?

  2. I have done a parachute jump already. I suppose if you knew the world was going to end, you could get your timing right and jump without the 'chute - and then get lifted up at the Rapture just before you hit the ground.

    See you on the bus.

  3. I missed all this malarkey, whilst in a feverish state. Does the world end before or after Dr Who?

  4. Martin - Why do you assume for number 4 that I'd be saying bad things?... I meant telling people how much I like them. ;-) I appreciate you trying to 'talk me down' but I was just thinking... Hell! I should do all this anyway, end of the world of not.

    Dave - That's a great idea. How will I recognise you on the bus... do you have a raincoat?

    Martin H. - During! How appropriate. *shouts* "Nurse! He's come round again!"

  5. I'll be the one not wearing a parachute.

  6. Yay! You'd go on a bus ride! I approve.

  7. Cripes, I didn't see your blog posting in time and didn't stop doing ANY of these things. Thank goodness I have another day to go wild!

  8. Dave - that was you on the bus yesterday, wasn't it? I'd be so..o..o..o embarrassed it I'd thrown myself at a complete stranger.

    Fran - Only because of the shagfest...what? you don't do that every day?

    Laura - I actually spent the day weeding! 8-(