It isn't really my 'oeuvre'. I don't have kids or young cousins. I'm not an auntie. I don't have many friends with kids (once they have them, they tend to mix with other parents) and most of my neighbours are elderly.
So it's like they're an alien species. I'm not sure how to communicate or, indeed, what to say. I'm quite chatty to adult borrowers but feel my chosen topics (government cutbacks, spreadsheet techniques, identity theft, the weather) may fall on stony ground with youngsters. So I opt for talking to everyone as if they were about 35, and if aliens come I'll probably do the same. Heaven knows, some of our young visitors even behave as if they were 35.
Anyway, browsing through the (broadly) safe and cuddly world of children's fiction, I couldn't help noticing that some of the stories need a bit of updating. After all, nursery rhymes are sometimes believed to be about social issues of the time, so I have set about the task...
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack jumped over the cfl...
Mary Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With insecticide and fertiliser
and B&Q gazebo
Rock-a-bye baby in a tree top
Call Social Services - this has to stop!
Baa baa, black sheep - have any wool?
No sir, no sir - since there was the cull
Little Jack Horner, sat in a corner
Eating his five a day...
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...
Humpty Dumpty! Had an accident that wasn't your fault?
Call 0800 ….
Three mice with visual impairments...
P.S. Some excellent additions in the comments posted below including a fine reworking of my favourite Belloc cautionary tale