Friday, 21 May 2010

Library Assistant - Week 2

In case you're wondering how my first two weeks as a library assistant went, here are some highlights and thoughts:

  1. Not in those shoes! (left)
  2. I was actually given the job of cleaning the sticky books - a job made more repellent thanks to this story on an earlier blog. 
  3. I even heard a worse story - about a lady who brought books back which had been in the same carrier bag as a dirty nappy. The lady had to clean those books herself. 
  4. When a large number of overdue Doctor Who books were returned (which would presumably never happen to a real Timelord) I failed to find a shelf bigger on the outside than the inside to put them back on.
  5. The whole 'shelves bigger on the inside than outside' spiel is best not gone into with people who have only just met me. Some fall on stony ground.
  6. The same goes for listing my previously harvested list of hysterically funny songs about librarians. They're just not ready for that yet.
  7. Everyone in my library is shorter than me. It is possible I was hired to dust the top shelves. (I'm no giant by the way - standard 5foot4)
  8. Talking of going back in time (yes we were - keep up!) it's like going back to the 1980's when I worked in a bank - days spent in protracted silences with the distant artillery of date-stamps, sorting things into alphabetical and/or numerical order. And nobody comes running at you with a health and safety manual if you try and remove staples from a wooden board with a tin opener. We even get proper tea breaks and an hour for lunch. The pay's about the same too. 
  9. There's a lady who has worked in my branch since 1974. Say it again. 1974.
  10. Oh, and...
  11. is really very pleasant and we have LOTS of GREAT books! Hurray for libraries!


  1. Hello.

    Regrettably, I went and looked at the pun-fest of library-related songs. Even more regrettably, I found myself groaning with a self-hating pleasure. It's just not clever to like puns, and yet, and yet......

    Why are these things so funny? It seems almost tragically certain that I'll be singing You Ain't Nothing But A Bound Log for the better part of the day. You'll understand, I trust, why I can't quite bring myself to thank you for this.

    The thing about the books being kept in the same bag as a dirty nappy, however, just made me depressed. Sometimes I despair at the unthinking nature of people. Ghastly. Really, really ghastly.

    Kind regards etc....


  2. When I worked in a famous shop that didn't quibble about returns, people would bring back stained bedsheets and demand their money back. Yuck.

    Anyway, welcome to our country!

  3. Love the Dr. Who bit :o)

    Glad you're enjoying it so far. We've done away with date stamps in our branch, it's all rather high-tech donchya know.

  4. Stilettoes on the Kick-Stools! Could be a working title there.

  5. You might have found your niche, BB. Very entertaining tales and thanks for the link to the songs, which were hilarious. I get asked by perfect stranger to get things off the top shelf in the supermarket, but then, I'm 10 inches taller than you.

  6. TPE - Hello and welcome! I hope you realize I just can't help my shelf... oops!

    Moptop - sadly I have now learned the difference between a librarian and a library assistant (about 4inches) - and I am the latter, which will ratehr spoil your joke I fear, though I have grown fond of it. Perhaps I could become a Vegan so you can say: Welcome to our planet!?

    Karen - I did away with them on a few of my first issuings... but I'm sure the nice people will remember which date to bring them back?

    Martin - I think I stumbled across a website that promised the very same thing recently

    Deborah - I'm glad I found my niche - I've been looking for it everywhere. Still looking for a 'perfect' stranger though! ;-)

  7. Should you find a perfect stranger,
    please, we all would like a share.
    Methinks there is a danger
    no one's perfect anywhere!
    We all have quirks and foibles
    but wouldn't you agree,
    that's what makes life enjoyable
    for folks like you and me?! LOL :)

  8. Love the poem Jinksy! Although I pity the poor perfect strange if we ALL get our share!!

    I just realised that I'd put the wrong link in (2) above - taking you to a historical quotation site instead of sullying everyone with the sticky book again! Fixed now!

  9. Gosh, the Wirral is not far from me. And there you are, wiping books and looking for shelf space. If you have a problem, you could just bring them here. We love books and are not fussy.

  10. You might be sorry you said that, elizabethm... there's a van on the way!! ;-)