There's been concern in library circles since Minister Ed Vaizey published the Future Libraries Programme to "help the service during the challenging financial situation" by suggesting libraries be privatised, or run by voluntary groups or retailers.Why stop there? Retailers could help spread the hideous cost of reading by more targeted sponsorship of books.
I've already started approaching local stores and can announce that the following are now available on loan:
Tesco of d'Urbervilles
The Mayor of Asdabridge
Boots the Alchemist
Alice’s Adventures in Poundland
Animal Farmfoods
Bleak House of Fraser
Brave New World of Carpet
Abacan – His Dark Materials
La Senza and Sensibility
MorriSons and Lovers
Lidl House on the Prairie
Aldi Presidents Men
I'm sure you, dear readers, will have your own ideas of other retailers who may be encouraged to support our beleaguered libraries by sponsoring a book...?
Last Exit to Budgens
ReplyDeleteUlyssainsbury's
The Tragedy of Macdonald's
Nineteen Eighty-Fortnum's
Homer's Ikealiad
The Best Little Carphone Whorehouse in Texas.
ReplyDeleteThe Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx (and Spencer)
ReplyDeleteThe Voyage of the Market Trader by John Lewis
ReplyDeleteAre there prizes?
ReplyDeleteThe War of the Waitroses.
ReplyDeleteYou know when people say LOL and they aren't really laughing out loud? Well I really, really am, you clever bunnies!
ReplyDeletePhilip - I liked the Ikealiad, but I think Nineteen Eighty Fortnums squeaks ahead
Dave - I hadn't thought of prizes - and IF (big 'if') there were your The Best Little Carphone Whorehouse in Texas would be well placed... so far
Ellie - ...and yours is up there too (Maybe Umberto Eco's 'Name of the Waitrose' too?)
I'm too upset (ok, not clever enough) to think of anything witty - we've already had our hours cut once with the promise there'll be more cuts on the way.
ReplyDeleteRun by retailers? Tut.
Treasure Aisle-land?
ReplyDelete"Swallows and Amazon" ?
ReplyDeleteHarry Potter and the Philosopher's Waterstone.
ReplyDeleteKaren - I'm so sorry - didn't intend to offend. Scary times.
ReplyDeleteFran - Treasure Aisle-land is a great name for a library - I may adopt it!
Doctor - .com!!!
Dave - Haha! Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Abakhan (it's local, ok?)
Burger King Solomon's Mines
ReplyDeleteMurder on the Orient Pizza Express
The Secret Life of Bees (and Q)
Lidl Women
Aldi President's Men
Moptop - yay! And here's me thinking Aldi good ones were taken (actually the Aldi one was but you know I'm not one to quibble! And that B&Q one should have been mine, dammit!!!
ReplyDeleteJust thought of another:
PC World According to Garp